My sister talked me into this...

So i was talking to my sister today after a small meltdown I had, about my life standing still and everyone around me moving forward. She told me that writing and getting my thoughts out there in the open would be therapeutic. I didn't fully believe her, but then again, what's it gonna hurt to try huh? :) so here's my first post...

Dear self,

What do I need to do to make me feel like my life is actually going somewhere!? Everyone around me is married, has a career, or just got their mission call to a foreign country to preach the gospel.

I was sitting in a friend's living room today as everyone crowded around her to see open up a very important letter, that would tell her where she was going to serve as a missionary for the next 18 months. As everyone was so excited to hear she was going to Chile, I felt lost in the commotion. I've been just existing for the past 7...almost 8 months while everyone around me is moving forward. Its like running on a treadmill, here i am, sprinting my heart out, but i feel like i'm going no where. I want to have a career, I want to open a letter telling me I've been called to serve as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I want to be married and be able to live for someone else. I keep making friends that have their lives figured out, and as they go on with their exciting new adventures, I'm left standing in the same spot.

I've kinda felt down, and just blah this whole semester, and I think thats why. I'm not happy standing still. Not when there's a whole world out there for me to experience. I feel like my whole life has been in a constant state of waiting for he next step. I waited for high school to come, I waited to finally graduate high school, now I'm waiting for my fiance to come back from Iraq...

What do I need to do? How do I live in the present so I feel like I'm not just wasting my time waiting? These are things I need to figure out....hah, but how.

I do have a strong belief that music speaks all kinds of emotions, and there is always a song out there that can relate...my song for this post is Mad World by Adam Lambert. Love his voice! talented guy, kinda weird, but the song is simply amazing! a link is at the bottom :)

Mad World (Acoustic Live) < Enjoy!


Til Next Time...